DiscordxCelestia Drabbles
by Jadeile
Summary: Various non-connected drabbles featuring Discord and Princess Celestia as a couple.
1. Dance

**A/N:** This and the other drabbles were written for a Discord/Celestia prompt tag in Fimfiction. The titles are the prompts.

**Warnings:** None

* * *

Princess Celestia had always loved dancing, ever since she had been a little filly. The beautiful music, the shine of the ballroom floor, the dim lights, the look of content concentration on the musicians' faces, the feel of her gown fluttering around her, the clop of fancy shoes against the floor, the eyes of her partner who varied from dance to dance. There was just something magical about it - nothing made her as relaxed as dancing to any kind of music with a skilled partner.

Centuries went by and she danced with thousands of ponies, both mares and stallions, sometimes with foals if she attended school dances for a change of routine. She became so skilled that she never found herself a match anymore, no matter if her partner was a professional or a natural talent - one just couldn't beat millenia of experience.

But that was of no matter, she could still enjoy it.

"May I have this dance, Princess?"

Celestia turned to look towards the voice with confusion written on her face. She was merely standing on her balcony and watching the full moon rise and light up the night sky - there was no music, no dancefloor and certainly no event going on.

"Pardon?" she asked and tilted her head, looking at the mismatched creature who had suddenly appeared beside her and had extended a paw towards her. He huffed and raised an eyebrow.

"This dance, Celestia. May I have it?" Discord asked again and glanced at his paw pointedly before his eyes returned to look at her, "Will you dance with me?"

Celestia looked at the paw, then at Discord's eyes again. She still didn't exactly comprehend the situation but that wasn't anything new when it came to Discord. So she smiled and placed her hoof on his paw.

"Yes."

There was still no music. There was no ballroom. No dim lightning. No musicians. No gown. No fancy shoes. No skilled partner either because Discord really didn't seem to be able to dance gracefully with his mismatched feet. But there were the beautiful eyes of her partner.

And her partner was immortal. She had all eternity to teach him to dance.


	2. Happily Ever After

**Warnings:** none.

* * *

"I do."

"I hereby pronounce you mare and colt."

The newly wed pair gave each other a loving kiss while the audience cheered with an occisional sniffle of joyful tears thrown in. Princess Celestia smiled as she watched the happy pair walk towards the door with their guests in tow, off to truly celebrtate their new marriage.

The princess staeyd behind on the altar with no plans to participate in the party - she was only here to wed the ponies who were aristocratic enough to have her be the one to do that. Once everypony was finally gone she stepped down from the altar and begun to leave when suddenly a pop of magic was heard by her side. She didn't even need to look to know who it was.

"Finally gone, am I right? I have no clue why you even bother with wedding ponies when there are others who actually do that for a living", Discord said as he floated beside her, "You're taking the bread out of their mouths."

Celestia rolled her eyes with a small smile.

"Hardly. The ponies who have high enough status to be wedded by me wouldn't settle for anypony who would actually need the money from them to survive. They would go for some expensive service and those do well even if I wed a pair every now and then", she answered.

Discord waved a dismissive talon.

"Fair enough I suppose. Not that I actually even care a whole lot. The only wedding I would care about would be Fluttershy's but that doesn't seem like today's issue", the draconequus said. Celestia raised an eyebrow, amused.

"Oh? You wouldn't care about your own wedding?" she asked with a teasing tone. Discord looked at her with some genuine surprise.

"My own wedding? Huh, I can't claim to have ever thought that I'd be marrying someone", he said and looked forward thoughtfully. Celestia's smile widened.

"How about my wedding? Wouldn't you care about that?" she asked. Discord kept looking forward for a moment, then flew ahead and landed in front of her, forcing her to stop and look at him with curiousity. The draconequus had mischivous twinkle in his eyes and a smile on his lips.

"Are you implying those two would be separate occasions?"


	3. Broken

**Warnings:** None.

* * *

Discord had found himself thinking of this place lately- a nagging little thought in the back of his mind, only manifesting itself properly during the night when he was trying to fall asleep. It had to stop.

His feet were kicking up light dust clouds in his wake as he dragged himself up the dirt path towards his destination. The shadows of the night were long thanks to the recently raised full moon and they painted twisted vaguely pony shaped figures on the ground, even though he was alone.

The draconequus walked past the stone ponies and stopped in front the only empty pedestal in the garden, staring at it with mixed feelings. The moonlight gave it a pale yellow sheen, making it look eerie.

He loathed the thing. He had stood on it for far too long and its mere existence gave him nightmares because the fact that it was still here meant that the ponies were expecting him to return to it someday.

He found himself at home here. He had stood on the pedestal for so long that he felt like he belonged here, like there was a bond to this place that he had nowhere else. That was actually true too, since the rest of Equestria had changed drastically - any place he had been familiar with had been altered beyond recognition. Of course he only found that refreshing and exciting but sometimes... sometimes he felt a little lost.

He couldn't stand the granite block. Both because he hated it and because it was too comforting in a way he wasn't comfortable with.

Discord glared at it and snapped his fingers, summoning himself a pickaxe. He lifted it above his head with a look of determination on his face.

"Will breaking it make you feel better?"

Discord startled and dropped the pickaxe, turning around to look at the source of the voice with wide eyes. Multicoloured pastel mane was moving in its personal ethereal wind. No crown, no slippers, no neckband. A look of understanding in her eyes.

"... yes, it will make me feel better, Celestia", Discord answered and picked up his tool again, turning his back to her. He heard the soft sound of hooves treading on dirt and then felt her presence right next to him. Reluctantly he glanced her way and to his bafflement found her smiling.

"Then do it. You have been very distant lately to the point of making me worried and if one broken pedestal can fix it, then I am more than happy to have one around", she said.

Familiar things had definitely been altered beyond recognition during the last thousand years. But it could be a good thing. Perhaps Discord could find something else to be his one constant from now on. Something less conflicting than the cold stone.

In the morning the rising sun revealed one broken pedestal and one healing soul for the world to see.


	4. Secret

**Warnings:** Blood.

* * *

Discord couldn't face Celestia today.

She would see it in his face if he did. He knew she would. She always knew if something was wrong with him and disturbingly often she could even guess what it was about, in a general sense.

He couldn't afford it now. It was just too horrifying for her to find out. Ever.

The draconequus closed his eyes and coiled up tighter, unable to stop shaking. Unable to get the smell of blood from his nose. Quite possibly because he was almost sure he was covered in it. Almost. He hadn't checked.

Oh Chaos, what had he done.

If Celestia- no. If anypony found out he would be done for. He would be a statue for the rest of forever, regardless of his relations with a Princess. There was just no excuse for this. This kind of thing just wasn't done.

Discord felt like throwing up again. But at the same time he couldn't move from his spot.

The world was spinning so he lifted a shaky paw over his already closed eyes in hopes that it would stop. The smell of blood got stronger.

It was on his paw, wasn't it?

Discord could see the pony vividly in his mind. Purple coat, pink mane, yellow eyes. A unicorn mare. And she had the look on her face. That is, before she was covered in blood and her face was twisted into a look of horror.

How could he ever run his paw through Celestia's mane again? He could wash the physical blood away, and he needed to do that soon or the smell would drive him insane, but he would know.

He would carry this secret forever.

If he could.

Please, don't ever find out, Celestia.


	5. Articulate

**Warnings:** light swearing

* * *

"Eugh! What is- who- why- argh! Discord!"

Not a pleasant way for the Princess of the Night to enter her chambers. She didn't even know what she had stepped on but it was slimy and squishy and it honked for no logical reason. The last part was why she had immediately came to the conclusion that it was Discord's doing.

Speak of the devil, the draconequus flashed into the room instanty, looking groggy and his mane standing up, like he had just woken up. He glared at Luna and pushed her aside rudely, picking up the... green... goo. And pet it.

"Luna! You did not just step on my pet pudding!" he snarled and glared at her tiredly.

Luna's mouth opened and closed a few times as she tried to form out a proper answer to that.

"Your- IT WAS IN MY CHAMBERS!" she yelled.

"Was! Yes, that's correct, he was! You killed him, you clumsy mare!"

"IT'S A PUDDING! IT. IS. A. DAMNED. PUDDING!"

"OH, YOU KNOW HOW TO ARTICULATE CLEARY, HOW SMART OF YOU! MAKES ME FEEL ALL BETTER ABOUT THIS!"

"YOU INSOLENT FOAL!"

"MURDERER!"

"THAT MAKES NO SENSE!"

"BIG SURPRISE, I USUALLY DON'T!"

"GET OUT OF MY ROOM!"

"MAKE ME!"

"DON'T MIND IF I-"

There was a poof of magic as Celestia teleported into the room, her mane a huge mess and her eyes screaming tiredness and anger caused by it.

"SHUT UP! Luna, apologize to Discord! Discord, get back to our room! I need my sleep if I'm going to rise the sun in the morning!" she growled and gave them both a fierce look, making the arguing pair take a step back and look at her with wide eyes.

There was a thick quietness in the air for a moment before Luna looked down at her feet and muttered something that sounded a little bit like an apology. Discord mumbled something that sounded kind of like an acceptance of the apology. Celestia nodded sterny and teleported away.

Discord and Luna fidgeted on their spots for a moment longer just to be sure it was safe, then looked at one another.

"Let's not wake her up like that again", Luna said. Discord nodded.

"Agreed", he said.

There was a moment of understanding between them.

Then Discord threw the pudding at her face before teleporting away with a cackle.

"YOU SONOVA-!"


	6. Question

**Warnings:** none

* * *

"Discord! Just what do you think you're doing?"

Celestia had found herself asking this over and over again every single day ever since Discord had been freed and he had decided on living in the Castle.

Every. Single. Day.

Discord turned to look at her with a smug smirk, like he had seen this coming miles away. He probably had too, this happened all the time after all.

"Decorating, my dear", he answered and snapped his fingers, flashing out of his spot and reappearing on Celestia's side. He wrapped his paw around her neck and swept his talon in front of them both, the movement covering the sight before them.

"Isn't it a lot more delightful like this?" he asked with a giggle. Celestia sighed.

This had been her room. Her nice and orderly room where everything was tidy and organized so that she could find anything she needed without even having to think about it.

She didn't think she would be able to find anything now. … well, except for her mane brush that was apparently glued to the ceiling. That would be easy to find. She doubted it would be easy to use though.

"Delightful isn't the word I would use."


End file.
